I want to talk about something that weighs on me sometimes. As a therapist, mentor and just a fucking human, I KNOW, I am not everyone's cup of tea. In fact, I don't want to be everyone's cup of tea/whisky/water/coffee whatever! I attract like minded individuals into my circle and that's what makes it so great! As a therapist, I encourage people to give me three sessions to determine if we are a good fit to work together. I also encourage them to give me feedback as to what is working and what is not, it's how I grow as a therapist. But here's what really grinds my gears (this phrase always fucking cracks me up) when people decide to stop showing up for THEMSELVES or when they decide to switch therapists after they have heard something that doesn't sit well. Working for an online counseling platform has shown me this in so many ways. When I am not at someone's beck and call, when my family or other obligations get in their way, or when I challenge them and they push back, they hit that "change counselor" button so fast! And you know what? That's okay, my boundaries are essential and I will not break them to appease someone else, ever again. The clients who have stayed with me are absolutely incredible and enjoy working with them so so much! They're are motivated, they own their shit, and they DO THE WORK!
Here's the thing, I am not the therapist who will placate you. I am not the therapist that will agree with you when I KNOW you are self-sabotaging or intentionally spiraling or avoiding. I will call you out, I will challenge you, and I will ask you to truly look inward. I DO NOT have all the answers, there is not a quick fix, there are no easy answers. Working on yourself is ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS YOU WILL EVER DO. And it's also one of the most rewarding. I think people have this idea that when they seek therapy, they will have everything answered, they will feel instantly better, or that just word vomiting all over the therapist is an effective form of therapy. There is a time and a place for venting, and I allow it, I welcome it, especially for my internalizers who just hold everything in. But after you vent, you get it all out, it's time to problem solve and make some fucking changes. Whether that be in your own mindset, setting boundaries, getting active, starting healthy habits, whatever.
Therapy is a tool, a stepping stone, a move in the right direction. But here's the thing, you have to do the work in order to see the results. I can't and I won't do it for you. Just remember, you fucking got this!
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