Where do feelings of inadequacy come from? Where do feelings of not being good enough come from? Why do I feel like I can never measure up? Why do I feel like I am not enough? These are questions I have been asked by people who know me and they are questions I have asked myself. I remember my mom asking me “why do you feel like you have low self-esteem? We always told you that you were beautiful.” I think as a parent it is easy to “blame” ourselves when our children feel a certain way or perceive things a certain way. The truth of the matter is, we are influenced by so many different things every day, our family, our friends, media, teachers, strangers, etc, etc, I could go on and on. Our brains are powerful fucking organs that can convince us of things that are not true.
Losing softball games that I pitched, I was convinced it was my fault, the boy that I liked who didn’t choose me and chose another girl meant I wasn’t pretty enough or maybe I was too fat, not getting into graduate school the first time I applied meant I wasn’t smart enough, being medicated for my depression meant I wasn’t strong enough to handle life, having to have a c-section due to some complications during labor meant I wasn’t woman enough to give birth “normally”, being overwhelmed with motherhood meant I wasn’t a good mom. I think you guys get the point as to how my brain works right? Let me be clear, I have challenged SO MANY of these shitty thoughts and I have grown so fucking much. Not getting into grad school right away was a blessing, I was able to get my first full time job and get an idea of the population I enjoyed working with. Choosing to take medication for my own mental health was one of the strongest moves I could have made. Feeling like having a c-section wasn’t the “right way” to have a baby…..the fuck????? I created life and I safely brought him into this world while keeping me and him healthy, I am a fucking warrior. Being overwhelmed with motherhood making me feel like a bad mom, BAHAHAHAHHAHA, if you’re not overwhelmed with motherhood, I question what you’re doing! Motherhood is overwhelming if you’re doing it right, you’re going to worry, you’re going to be sleep deprived, you’re going to want to rip your hair out at times, its part of how it works and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
At the end of the day, stop fucking comparing yourself, your journey, your looks, your body, your intelligence. Comparison is the thief of all joy, obviously I didn’t make that quote up, but its perfect. Know that every day, every thing you do or don’t do for that matter, IS ENOUGH, YOU ARE EOUGH.
Comentários