A couple month’s back I asked for questions to be submitted via Instagram about anything related to sex for an upcoming Rewriting [Her]story podcast episode. Unfortunately, the questions didn’t come to me until after we recorded so I figured I’d blog about it instead!
The first question I received was “is sex better with or without an emotional connection?” First and foremost, I’d like to recognize that this is different for every single person. I have plenty of clients who can have casual sex without emotional connection and I also have several clients who need to be in a committed relationship to have sex, meaning there needs to be an emotional connection.
Sometimes there is fear and anxiety related to sexual encounters with people who we have an emotional connection to and wanting everything to be perfect. Sometimes this can take us out of the moment or cause performance anxiety. Some may say this would make sex with an emotional connection worse! For others, if it’s sex without emotional connection, there may be zero worries about performance or whether or not the other person is enjoying themselves as you may never see them again! It’s all a personal experience.
In sexual situations, I would suggest asking yourself how you feel with that person. Is there a strong sexual connection and desire to be physical with them? Is there a desire to learn more intimate parts of them, getting to know them on a personal level? If you do know them on a more personal level, do you feel more sexually connected to them?
Sex is an innate need and a tool for pleasure for most people. I say most, because there are asexual individuals who do not feel a need or desire for sexual connection. When it comes to sex, there can be a lot of shame associated with it including (but not limited to): not feeling comfortable talking about it, believing it’s “dirty”, believing it is only for procreation, believing it is not for your pleasure, but instead your partners. The list is endless.
If someone was asking me this question personally, my answer would be yes. Sex is much more pleasurable when there is an emotional connection. When there is a strong emotional connection, you feel safe, you’re comfortable being vulnerable and you also desire that person sexually, those experiences will be outta this world! I’m curious to know your thoughts on this matter! Please share if you feel comfortable, I love learning from my clients/readers! And as always, thanks for reading! ~Stef
コメント